Because God wants me to?

So why does it take so much to love someone? Because it makes me vulnerable? Why am I afraid of being vulnerable? Because I may be perceived as being "goofy" or "just a little off my rocker"? What is so bad about that?

I am really trying to be more friendly to strangers these days. One reason I started trying this because someone said "it says a lot about your character" about how you treat someone. I know I should have said something more profound like "because God wants me to do it", right? See there I go again, wanting to be perceived as being ok. At least this time I was more honest about my motives. But you know what happened? It was fun! Granted, I still have a LOT of work to do to get this right. Is that even a possibility? What am I "getting right"?

When I see a much older person than I (and that takes a lot of doing!) I almost always wonder what their story is. What did they do in their prime of life? What have been their greatest gains and losses. I am sure they would be glad to tell me, I just never ask.

I recently sat down and listened to my grandma's (who will turn 100 in May) story. And all I can say is....WOW what an amazing story. I heard things I would never have known if I hadn't taken that time. (Ask me about 'snicken' someday, hey that might a good blog post in itself.)

My question to ponder today is, what am I waiting for? God, you have a lot of work to do, so let's get going!

Fall...go again

Geez, it has been a week since I blogged! I knew it wouldn't last, my beloved blog friend, I have let you down already. What makes me think I can keep up a blog when I can't keep up doing anything else on a regular basis? (you know, like this exercise thing.)

Face it, I'm just not good at this kind of commitment stuff. I really have good intentions, but alas, once again I fall.

But wait....there's more! Being fallen is not all bad (I mean we all are, aren't we?). It is yet another opportunity to get back up and start again...yes, that's it, I will start again!! Ok, my beloved blog let's give this another try...if you will have me.

So the question to ponder this time is, which question shall I ponder? You know there are so many.

Unbelievable weekend

As my last post indicated, I was pretty excited to go to Las Vegas, but that was not meant to be. We found out 3 hours before boarding, that our flight was canceled. After spending over an hour on the phone with the airline (whose name shall remain anonymous, but starts with D E L T A), there was no hope of getting there before Sunday morning. Talk about taking wind out of your sails. The couple we were going with felt the same way. Fortunately, they were on a different flight, so they made it out there. We texted and shared pictures with each other all weekend, so I was there vicariously through them. A lesson we took away from this is, when there is this much money involved, book the same flights. You will either all not make it, or you will make it, but you can still be together.

Since we were packed we decided to change gears, book a hotel in Gatlinburg and still get out of town. It was cold, rainy, foggy, our fireplace didn't work, and the bed was somewhat uncomfortable.(Can you believe the hotel in Vegas was cheaper than the hotel in Gatlinburg?) And that was not all the story, but I won't bore you will the rest here.

My first reaction to a canceled flight was disbelief. There wasn't another plane? There wasn't two seats on any airline getting there anytime Friday night? Unbelievable! Once that sank in I saw it as a test of my faith. Since I only see part of the picture there had to be a reason we were not on our way to Las Vegas. After all, missing a flight to Vegas seemed trivial when seeing what was going on in Haiti was all over the TV. How could I be so selfish to cry about what I was going through? A missed flight? That was nothing.

So my question to ponder today is...did I need to be hit over the head that hard for my faith test today? But I always come back to the answer that I am only seeing part of the picture, so yes, I guess so. I always was a slower learner.

Be seein' ya......

Yep we are heading out of town. I like to try to get away in January, after all the Christmas chaos. Ed is usually pretty spent (well, actually fried might be a better adjective) after working two weeks without a day off, and a lot of them 12-14 hour days. Then one day off for Christmas and back at it the day after. (Yes we love Christmas.) But if I don't get him out of town, he will continue to work, so off we go.....

Where? Where you ask? How about Las Vegas this year? Another couple in our small group suggested it (did I mention that I love my small group? Oh yea, the previous post!).

Ed and I were there 9 years ago. This was way back when I had a 'film' camera. So I am really looking forward to this time, and the unlimited picture opportunities. I hope I have enough SD cards.

And how about this for a kicker! We are not taking computers! Ok confession time now. We do have Blackberries (is that the right plural for the phones?). So we will still get email. Of course, I don't get my work email on mine. Ed is much more important, so he does. And, yes, we have browser capability, so FaceBook isn't far away. Having said all that, it seems rather sad, doesn't it.

So the question to ponder is....will we miss our laptops? Is a Blackberry enough? Is it too much? Guess those answers are yet to be seen. I do know I will not be blogging for the days we are gone. And I am sure you all will miss this too, right? You know, the two of you who actually read this, you know who you are.

I love my small group

We have been together a long time. Ed started the group in 1997, primarily for members of the tech team that work the weekend celebrations at church. (This was way back in the old church too.) Of course, lot of people have come and gone during that time frame, but there are still a few of us from the original group. Of those who are not from the original group, I think the newest members have been with us at least 5 years (you can correct me if I am wrong on this statistic).

One of our weekend messages suggested the breaking bread together brings people together more. It kind of hit home when I started to think about family gatherings. They did always seem to center around food, and I think families have a natural bond. So we decided to incorporate this philosophy into our group. We meet every other week, and decided that we would do dinner together. (Ya gotta eat, right?) It works out great, because we can do our check in during dinner and continue any study we are working on after dinner.

Food or no food, I love my small group. For me to took a long time, but I feel we are family. We are even starting to expand on the breaking of bread, and we are taking a trip with one of the couples from the group. I hope we can do more things like this with the whole group.

So the question to ponder today is...what the heck took us so long to start this? It really doesn't matter, what matters is that we are doing it, and I love these guys.

My secret is out

But only to a select few. OK I have told a handful of people that I blog. Isn't that a first step to being vulnerable? (See, I'm working on it.) I have already gotten grief for not allowing people to comment unless they have a log in.

Well I have made the change in my settings to allow for anonymous posts to my blog. Sorry to you two who mentioned it, I was not aware of such settings. I am still new to all this blogging stuff. You should be able to post now. That is assuming you are even back reading this again.

Lunch was interesting today. On a dream of my boss's, we had lunch at a Thai restaurant for her birthday (which was actually 33 days ago). I was not expecting to like it, so I was pleasantly surprised. Now I want to even take Ed back. I really think he will like it.

The question to ponder is...what makes me think I would not like something before I try it? Ummm...must work on an attitude adjustment.

Windows 7

Who would have thought it would take a whole day to upgrade from Vista to Windows 7? I know I am not the smartest tech person, so Ed did the install.

I am not sure why I can help other people out with their computer problems at work, but quickly lose patience with my own here at home. (At this point it is our secret that I work in an IT department.) The question to ponder: What does that say about me?

After Windows 7 was completely installed, I couldn't find any email program. I had to go and download Windows Mail! What's up with that?

The bottom line is I am up and running on Windows 7. (Thank you Ed) Now I am looking to see if I can figure out what the difference is between Vista and Windows 7. Once again I am indebted to MicroSoft for yet another wonderful product. (!!??)

How does one "create"?

I don't know you creative people do it. You know who you are. I have been working on (in my mind only) what to to with a completely blank wall in Ed's office. Some of you creative ones would love this challenge. It has been blank and ready for a few months now, and I am just now getting some ideas for it.

Of course I also have to consider what Ed would like too, uh? I am very fortunate that he is easy to please, and I think I know him well enough to get that part right. The question to ponder: You never really know, do you?)

Creativity somehow just escapes me. Taking pictures is one of the things I really enjoy. My criteria, though, is to capture the moment and not have to PhotoShop anything into or out of it (with the exception of an occasional crop). I'm not sure why I am like that (what does that say, do I need to do some investigating into this?). The picture has to already be there already for me. I might take a different spin, or angle on the shot. But for the most part what I see, I shoot (or at least part of it I shoot).

Actually, if I think about it, there could be two reasons for this: number one - I am clueless on PhotoShop, and all its potential; number two - again, I am just not that creative!

How does one "create" on the fly? Guess that is why God created databases.

How cold is cold?

Wow it is cold this morning! There is an advisory out that the wind chill temperature is as low as 15-20 below zero. I lucked out on my volunteer schedule and did not have to walk across our huge parking lot at church at 7:30am. But Ed, he wasn't so lucky. See God does love me!

Yes, I get to sit here, in a warm house, drinking peppermint white hot chocolate and try to blog. Life is sure good to me.

Speaking of life, it seems like there have been a lot of funerals around me lately. I am unsure as to what to make of it all. It doesn't make me scared, it does make me sad. See I am very fortunate to have all my siblings, parents, and even a 99 year old grandma still alive in my life. I have felt the sorrow of losing someone only from a friend standpoint, and that was before Jesus was here.

I know I am totally unprepared for losing someone extremely close, but I feel like God is preparing me though. There is no denying it is going to happen someday. I hope I am learning my lessons properly.

New Year

Ok, it's a new year, let's try this blogging thing.

I don't know for sure why I have resisted this, but I will give it a try. There is something about having everyone read my thoughts that unnerves me. I think it is a childhood thing (isn't everything?). I've always wanted to know what was going on in other people's lives, but was not too good about sharing anything in mine (aka, introvert). Guess I always thought my life was kind of on the boring side (still do, I secretly hope no one will be reading this and I can just journal). I have only recently decided to post a few things on FaceBook, but I read everyone else's. What is up with that? Yep, FaceBook stalker, that's me.

To get closer to Jesus, one must do learn to be vulnerable, right? (At least that's what I've heard) And, it is my understanding, that journaling will also help do the job. So let's give it a try. The question to ponder: Journaling or blogging?

I also need to make time for this blogging thing. Ummm...when will that be? I have no excuses really. No kids to take up my time (lots of my blogger friends have families, how do you do it?). I have wireless in my house (so I can blog anywhere, right?). Now....what to say.

It is hard to believe I have written so much already, and said virtually nothing! Do I stop and save something for tomorrow, or later tonight, or keep going? It is funny how the thoughts are coming now.